Dan had been a top sales performer for over 10 years. He enjoyed his job and had a great relationship with his regular customers. His sales manager was pleased with how solid Dan’s performance was every year, always achieving awards and bonuses.

Dan had long ago figured out how to balance out his work with his family life. His sons were involved in football, so there was a lot of time at the field.

Dan’s dad lived nearby, so they had regular family dinners. Maribel, Dan’s wife, liked to cook for “all her men”. They watched football on TV together, had movie nights, and sometimes went out for special events. Andy, Dan’s dad, loved to go to the boy’s football games and take everyone out for ice cream afterward, win or lose.

The Phone Call

One afternoon, at work, Dan received an urgent call from Maribel. She was distraught(Upset). She explained that Andy was in the hospital, so Dan should go to the ER (Emergency Room) immediately.

Dan quickly excused himself from his customer and arrived at the hospital within minutes. He found his dad on a gurney ( wheeled stretcher ) and was actually a bit relieved to hear that they thought he had probably broken his hip.

The scans were ordered and a plan for treatment was all set up. It was actually Andy who calmed Dan down by saying, “It’s okay, son. I’m fine.” Simple words. Exactly what Dan needed to hear.

The Rehab and Recovery

Andy did have a hip fracture, and it was decided that the best thing would be to have surgery and then take some time for healing. He has prescribed bed rest and painkillers for the next few weeks after the operation, and physiotherapy. That meant that Maribel and Dan would need to pick up some of the slack. Dan had a lot more flexibility in his job and fewer day-to-day responsibilities with the kids. Plus, this was his dad. He felt a strong need to support his father in this process.

The first thing they did was set Andy up in the guest room in their house and closed up his place. They moved a few of Andy’s things over so he would be more comfortable. Over the next few weeks, Dan made sure to check on Andy’s place at least a couple of times a week. He cut the grass and did a few chores. He washed up the dishes that had been left undone in the emergency and tidied up a bit.

Dan’s job allowed him the flexibility to pop out in the middle of the day to take Andy back and forth to his physio appointments during the week. Andy appreciated his son’s help and was glad to be able to make his appointments. He was working hard in physio because he wanted to get back to his old self.

A Few Weeks Turned into a Few Months

Andy got some better over the next few weeks. He did move back into his own place, but he needed some extra help around the house. More of the outdoor chores and some things indoors started to slip, too. He also needed help arranging and keeping his more frequent medical appointments.

Over time, Dan started to find the situation more and more stressful. His obligations to his wife and children had not changed, and his job responsibilities were the same. But he found himself needing to do more and more for his dad over the years.

Caregiving Continues…

Over time, Dan found that he had lost some of the trust and respect of his customers, and his boss. He wanted to explain that he really wanted to be there for them, as he had always been before. He didn’t want to give them excuses, but he realized he really did need someone to give him a break.

It was time to start getting some help with this caregiving. He turned to the Internet and started to read. When he discovered that he was not alone, he felt better. His concern over his job performance was not unusual, either.

This last year when he didn’t make his quota hit him hard. Not just in the ego, either. The lack of his big annual bonus its a financial hit to the family, too. His boss was mystified. Customers are in a confused state. His wife was unhappy. His competition was thrilled.

Time for Creative Problem Solving

Dan needed to focus on how to maintain his customer relationships, increase his sales levels, keep his boss happy and re-attain his life balance… all while adding the caregiving his dad needed.

The first step was to recognize that something had to change. Andy knew something was wrong. Also, he is worried about his son, too. Dan was certainly not doing his dad any favors by continuing down this path.

Dan, Maribel, and Andy sat down and started to brainstorm ideas for how they could work together to manage the entire situation. They came up with some ideas like having the boys do some of the chores that were easy to implement (comparatively!). Other ideas were going to require some additional outside assistance.

Employer-Employee Caregiving Support

Dan approached his boss and explained the situation. He wasn’t complaining, just stating the facts. His father needed more care, and that care put demands on Dan’s time, focus and energy. This was detracting from his sales. So he was looking for solutions to be able to increase his sales to their previous levels.

Dan’s boss didn’t really know what to suggest at first. He wanted to help Dan increase his sales again, but admitted that this sounded like a personal problem. So, Dan presents some of the information to his boss which he got from Lifeworkx about how companies can help. 

Dan’s Sales Awards the Next Year

Yes, Dan did win the sales awards the next year, again. This was all due to the combination of solutions he worked out with his boss, and family. The flex schedule that allowed him to work on Saturdays if he needed a day off during the week (without specific permission each time). That made it so he felt like he was back in control of his schedule. Seeing him on the weekend was great for some of his customers, who were often really busy during the week. The dedication was impressive. 

Dan’s company worked out how to support him by setting up some trained caregivers to visit with Andy during the week. They covered the costs through their HR department, which made Dan feel appreciated and valued. That made it much easier for Dan to focus on his job. Andy enjoyed the company of trained caregivers and was happy that Dan was able to succeed in his career again. Andy hated being the cause of problems for his son.

Maribel still made many of the phone calls and arrangements. She was happy to have “her men” back in the house watching football and being a family.

This has been another CareWise™ Corner Vignette.